Editor, Gazette-Journal:

For the fourth year in a row, I’m shaving my head (and chin) to raise money to help find a cure for children’s cancer. Usually in the weeks before the day my head is shaved, I have to mail letters, post advertisements and stick my open, upturned palm into peoples’ guts while looking them dead in the eyes—which is usually (sad to say) the most efficient way to extract a dollar from someone when they can’t see anything in it for them.

According to the Bible, such a gift is absolutely the best investment you can possible make with mere money (Matthew 10:42). However, due to an anonymous donation, this year’s goal of $3,500 has already been met. Nothing left to do but shave my noggin.

This will be done on March 19 at 1 p.m. at my house with music by Tertius and a spaghetti dinner. Last year, only donors were invited, but this year it’s open free to the first 50 people who make a reservation.

Whether you come or not, fee...