Editor, Gazette-Journal:

I’m thankful I’ll be home for the holiday and I won’t have to drive seven hours there and back to grandma’s like so many other years.

I’m thankful turkeys are large birds and I’ll have plenty of leftovers. I’ll be in the kitchen all day Thanksgiving Day, but then I’ll be able to coast for quite a few meals!

I’m thankful I can still buy my annual pint of peach schnapps without picture ID.

I’m thankful I finally discovered who my real friends are. Hint: They aren’t the people who play games with my head.

I’m thankful the few pathetic teeth I have left don’t hurt much.

I’m truly grateful I can at least get tinnitus relief when I’m asleep.

I’m thankful my memory is still good enough to recall which PIN goes with which account.

I’m thankful I didn’t fall and break my bottom last year on all the ice and snow. Hopefully I’ll be thankful again this ...